The Complete Guide to Finding the Right Couples Therapist in Los Angeles
Living in Los Angeles has its perks: the creative energy, the diversity, the fact that you can get incredible tacos at 2am. But even in a city as vibrant as LA, relationships can feel overwhelming. If you've been searching for a couples therapist in Los Angeles who actually gets what you're going through, you already know how hard it can be to sort through endless Psychology Today profiles and figure out who's the right fit.
Here's the thing: choosing a couples therapist shouldn't be about whoever has the most polished website or the most availability. The therapy relationship requires trust to work. For many couples I talk to, the search itself feels like another thing on an already exhausting to-do list: "How do I know who's good? What if we open up and it's not the right fit? What if this doesn't work and we've wasted time and money?"
Those feelings are completely normal. Couples therapy in Los Angeles works best when you feel safe, understood, and like your therapist actually sees the relationship you're trying to build, not some template of what a "healthy relationship" should look like. So take a breath. This guide is going to make your search a lot easier.
Why Finding the Right Couples Therapist in Los Angeles Actually Matters
There are a lot of ways people try to fix relationship problems before they get to therapy. Many couples come to me after they've already tried the self-help books, the podcast episodes, the late-night conversations that go in circles. They've worked on themselves individually, maybe tried couples apps or date night ideas from Instagram. And still, something's not working.
This is why when you've decided you need to find a couples therapist in Los Angeles, finding the right one actually matters.
What does it mean to find the right therapist?
The right couples therapist for you is someone you both feel comfortable with, even when the conversations get uncomfortable. Someone you have some initial sense of trust with that will deepen over time, so you can be honest about what's really happening between you and get the help you need.
I track clinical outcomes in my sessions, and if therapy isn't working after our assessment period, we talk about it openly. We either change our approach or I refer you to someone who I think could better help you. The right therapist cares about whether you're actually experiencing change, not just whether you're showing up to appointments.
Does this mean therapy will be easy? Not always. But I've watched couples who felt completely stuck start to shift how they see each other within just a few sessions. The most common thing I hear is: "I don't recognize us anymore." And what I help couples do is remember—or sometimes learn for the first time—how to work as a team instead of moving as adversaries.
Because here's what I notice: many couples come to therapy operating like they're on opposite sides. They're defending their position, proving their point, winning the argument. And at some point in our work together, something clicks. They realize they've been playing against each other when what they actually want is to be collaborators building a strong, loving relationship together.
Take a moment and think about what you want in a couples therapist. What would make them right for you? Consider their experience with the specific issues you're navigating, whether that's becoming parents, recovering from infidelity, exploring non-monogamy, or just feeling disconnected. You might also want someone who honors your diverse backgrounds, understands queer relationships, or gets that your partnership might not look traditional.
Finding the right couples therapist in Los Angeles allows both of you to open up, be vulnerable, and experience real change, even if it takes time. The time you invest now in finding the right fit is key to actually getting where you want to be in your relationship.
The Different Types of Therapists and Counselors in Los Angeles
When you search for couples therapy in Los Angeles, you'll see a bunch of letters after people's names: LMFT, LCSW, PsyD, PhD, LPCC. Here's what they mean in simple terms:
LMFTs (Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists): We specialize in relationships, couples, and family systems. Our entire training focuses on how people function in relationship to each other.
LCSWs (Licensed Clinical Social Workers): Often focus on both mental health treatment and connecting clients with community resources and support systems.
Psychologists (PhD or PsyD): Provide therapy and sometimes do psychological testing. They typically have more training in assessment and diagnosis.
LPCCs (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors): Focus on individual and group therapy, with some doing couples work as well.
Coaches: Sometimes people ask about working with a coach versus a therapist for relationship issues. Coaching can be a great option, especially if you're looking for a less medicalized approach that focuses on goals and growth rather than diagnosis and treatment. Many therapists (myself included) value coaching as a legitimate path to support.
That said, credentials matter. If you're considering a coach for relationship work, look for someone with substantial training: ideally a master's degree in counseling or clinical psychology, or certification through a top-tier accrediting body like the International Coaching Federation (ICF). These credentials ensure your coach has rigorous training in working with people and understands boundaries, ethics, and when to refer out.
The key difference: therapists are licensed and regulated by state boards, which means we're required to complete ongoing continuing education, follow strict ethics codes, and maintain professional liability. Coaches operate in a less regulated space, which is why verifying their training and credentials is essential.
I'm an LMFT who specializes in couples therapy for people navigating major life transitions, especially the transition to parenthood. This means in addition to my graduate training in relational systems, I have specialized post-graduate training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and expressive arts therapy approaches.
While the training paths differ among these licenses, what matters most is whether you feel comfortable and supported working with that particular therapist. Look beyond the letters after someone's name and see what specialized training they have. Many therapists in Los Angeles pick unique paths and specializations as we grow in our careers, which means you get an opportunity to find someone who really specializes in what you need.
What Therapy Approaches Are Available for Couples in Los Angeles?
Couples therapy in Los Angeles comes in many forms. When people think about couples therapy, they often picture two people sitting on a couch talking for 50 minutes. That's definitely one approach, and sometimes that's exactly what's needed.
But there are other ways to do this work. Here are some common approaches you'll find among couples therapists in Los Angeles:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Focuses on the emotional patterns and attachment needs underneath your conflicts. This is one of my primary approaches. Instead of just teaching communication skills, we look at why certain conversations trigger you and what each person is really asking for emotionally.
The Gottman Method: Based on decades of research about what makes relationships work (and what predicts divorce). Focuses on building friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning.
PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy): Integrates attachment theory, neuroscience, and arousal regulation. PACT therapists focus on how your nervous system responds to your partner and how to create secure functioning as a couple. It's particularly effective for couples where one or both partners struggle with regulation during conflict.
Narrative Therapy: Helps couples separate their identity from their problems and rewrite the story they're telling about their relationship.
Expressive Arts Therapy: This is where my work gets a little different from traditional talk therapy. Expressive arts in couples therapy might include collaborative art-making, authentic movement, or even playing board games together in session.
Wait, board games?
Yeah. I use games like Wavelength or Hues and Cues with couples. Sometimes they're collaborative games where you work together. Sometimes they're competitive and we watch what happens when you're trying to win. Sometimes they're connection-focused and open up conversations that feel hard to start with just words.
What I love about using play in therapy is that it shows me patterns I might not see otherwise. How do you handle frustration? Do you celebrate each other's wins? Can you laugh together when things go wrong? Do you assume the worst about each other's intentions or give each other the benefit of the doubt?
These aren't small things. These are the patterns that show up in your everyday life: how you handle stress about money, parenting decisions, whose family to visit for the holidays, all of it.
As a couples therapist in Los Angeles who integrates expressive arts, I appreciate methods that go beyond just thinking and talking about problems. We bring in the wisdom of the body, creativity, and play to help couples reconnect with what drew them together in the first place.
Learn more about relationship therapy at Stanza Family Therapy.
Couples Therapy for the Transition to Parenthood in Los Angeles
One of the most common reasons couples seek therapy is because they're navigating the transition to parenthood, or they're already in it and thinking, "What the hell happened to us?"
I work with couples who are pregnant and want to get ahead of potential relationship struggles. I work with couples who have toddlers and feel like they've become roommates who occasionally argue about whose turn it is to do bedtime. The stage doesn't matter as much as the shared feeling: "I don't recognize us anymore."
Becoming parents is one of the biggest relationship transitions you'll ever navigate. It changes your identity, your routines, your intimacy, your priorities, how you see each other, and how much sleep you're getting (spoiler: not enough). And most couples aren't prepared for how much it rocks the foundation of their partnership.
What I help couples do during this transition is remember that you're on the same team. When you're both exhausted and touched out and can't remember the last time you had a conversation that wasn't about nap schedules, it's easy to start seeing each other as the problem instead of seeing the situation you're both trying to navigate.
Couples therapy during the parenthood transition isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about building new patterns that work for who you're becoming as individuals and as partners.
Learn more about how we can help at Stanza Family Therapy.
Practical Steps to Choosing a Couples Therapist in Los Angeles
So now that you understand your options for the kind of therapist and therapy approaches out there, let's get practical about how to actually choose someone.
Here are the steps I recommend if you're starting your search for couples therapy in Los Angeles:
1. Get clear on what you need
Is it couples therapy for a specific transition like becoming parents? Are you recovering from infidelity? Considering opening your relationship? Feeling disconnected but not sure why?
Write down what you're struggling with and what you want your relationship to look like after therapy. Be honest, not aspirational. You want to be clear about your expectations so you can discuss them with potential therapists and find someone whose approach actually matches what you need.
2. Read therapist websites with an open mind
Many people start by searching Google or asking ChatGPT for "couples therapy Los Angeles." If you land on a directory like Psychology Today or Therapy Den, that's fine, but don't stop there. Click through to the therapist's actual website and read their content.
Notice how their words make you feel. Do you feel seen? Does their voice resonate with you, or does it feel too clinical, too polished, too vague? Trust in a therapist starts before you ever meet them. If you don't resonate with how they write about their work, you're probably not going to resonate with how they do therapy.
3. Schedule free consultations
Most couples therapists in Los Angeles offer free 15-minute consultation calls. Use them. This isn't just for the therapist to screen you, it's for you to interview them.
I offer free consultations because I want to make sure I can actually help before we commit to working together. If I can't, I have a list of trusted therapists I refer to. In those 15 minutes, share what you need and what you're hoping will shift in therapy. Pay attention to what it feels like to talk to them. Do you feel a sense of safety? Connection? Or does something feel off?
If it doesn't feel right, keep looking. It might take a few consultations to find the right couples therapist in Los Angeles for you, and that's completely normal.
4. Trust your gut
If something feels off about a therapist, you don't need a logical reason to move on. You're allowed to trust your instincts.
As you talk with different therapists, you'll get clearer on what you actually need. Your expectations might even shift. Maybe you thought you just needed help with communication but realize you need someone who understands polyamory, or you thought you needed someone directive but actually want someone more collaborative.
5. Think longer-term
The right fit can make couples therapy a genuinely transformative experience. If you're thinking about just going for a couple of sessions, know that most couples therapists do longer-term work. On average, my couples work with me for several months to a year. They often see shifts within the first few sessions, but they find that therapy opens up other areas of their relationship to explore.
There are some rapid approaches for very specific issues, but most relationship work takes time. That's not because therapists want to keep you in therapy forever. It's because real change in relationship patterns doesn't happen overnight.
Pro tip for finding couples therapy in Los Angeles:
Many of us offer free consultations. Use that time to ask about our approach, our specialties, what success looks like, and what it might feel like to work together. Come with questions. This is your relationship we're talking about—you deserve to find someone who truly gets what you're trying to build.
What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session in Los Angeles
So you've found a couples therapist in Los Angeles who seems like a good fit. You've booked your first session. Now what?
Here's what typically happens in those first few weeks:
The assessment period: Most couples therapists do some kind of assessment in the beginning, usually the first 3-4 sessions. We're getting to know you, understanding your patterns, and figuring out if we're a good fit to work together.
During this time, I'm paying attention to how you talk to each other, what happens when conflict comes up, and whether there are safety concerns I need to address. I'm also listening for what you both want and whether you're aligned in your commitment to the relationship.
If I notice patterns that need individual work first: Sometimes I see signs that couples therapy needs to be supplemented with individual therapy, particularly if there are patterns of intimate partner violence or highly dysregulated nervous systems. This isn't about judgment. It's about effectiveness and safety.
I believe couples therapy in situations where there's intimate partner violence needs the foundation of individual work. If you're not already in individual therapy and I see that conducting couples work would be unsafe or ineffective due to harmful relational patterns, I'll be honest about that.
If you can afford to do both simultaneously, that's ideal. If not, I typically recommend starting with 3-4 months of individual therapy and deferring couples work until later. I can also refer you to specialists who work specifically with couples navigating intimate partner violence, or connect you with domestic violence treatment centers that have specialized programs.
This isn't rejection. It's about making sure you get the right support at the right time.
What happens when you fight in session: This is one of the most common questions I get asked in consultations: "What if we start fighting in your office?"
Here's what I do: I call a timeout. I ask both of you to check in with your bodies. We might do a grounding exercise like noticing five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch. And then I ask: "Okay, what just happened?"
Because what just happened in my office is probably what's happening at home, and now we get to slow it down, understand it, and practice doing something different.
FAQs About Couples Therapy in Los Angeles
Let's talk about the questions couples actually ask me when they're considering therapy:
How long does couples therapy take?
Most couples I work with stay in therapy for several months to a year. You'll likely start noticing shifts within the first few sessions. Maybe you catch yourself falling into an old pattern and choose differently, or you have a hard conversation that doesn't blow up the way it usually does.
But real, sustainable change in relationship patterns takes time. We're not just teaching you skills. We're helping you understand and shift the deeper patterns driving your conflicts.
That said, some couples come in for a specific issue and work with me for just a few months. Others find that therapy opens up areas they didn't know needed attention and continue longer. It depends on your goals and what you discover about yourselves in the process.
What if we don't like this approach?
Then we talk about it and adjust. Therapy should feel helpful, not like something you're enduring.
If after a few sessions the approach isn't working for you (maybe you hate the board games, or you need more structure, or you want more homework between sessions) tell me. I'd rather know early so we can shift what we're doing or help you find a different therapist whose style is a better match.
What if we fight in session?
I literally just call a timeout. We pause, you both check in with your bodies, maybe do a quick grounding exercise, and then I ask: "What just happened?"
The fights that happen in my office are valuable data. They show me your patterns in real time. And more importantly, they give us a chance to practice doing something different while I'm there to help you navigate it.
Do both partners have to want therapy for it to work?
Couples therapy works best when both people are invested. But sometimes one partner is more ready than the other, and that's okay. Part of what we explore in the beginning is whether both of you are on the same page about wanting the relationship to work and being willing to look at your own patterns.
If there's a significant mismatch (one person is all in and the other is checked out) I'll address that directly. Sometimes individual therapy is a better starting point. Sometimes we work with the ambivalence itself. It depends on your specific situation.
How much does couples therapy cost in Los Angeles?
Couples therapy rates in Los Angeles typically range from $150-300+ per session, depending on the therapist's training, experience, and specialization. Sessions are usually 50 minutes, though some therapists offer longer sessions.
Many therapists (including me) can provide superbills for out-of-network insurance reimbursement, which means you pay upfront and then submit to your insurance for partial reimbursement. Some therapists also offer sliding scale spots for couples with financial constraints.
What's the difference between couples therapy and marriage counseling?
These terms are often used interchangeably, but "couples therapy" is more inclusive. It includes all relationship types like married, unmarried, engaged, LGBTQ+ partnerships, polyamorous relationships, or any romantic partnership between consenting adults.
"Marriage counseling" traditionally referred specifically to married heterosexual couples, but the field has evolved. In Los Angeles, you'll find that most therapists use "couples therapy" to signal that all relationship structures are welcome.
Different Types of Relationships Welcome in Los Angeles Couples Therapy
One thing I love about doing couples therapy in Los Angeles is that we tend to be more open about supporting all types of romantic relationship structures between consenting adults.
Whether you're married, engaged, dating, cohabitating, long-distance, monogamous, ethically non-monogamous, polyamorous, in a queer partnership, an interracial couple, or navigating a relationship structure that doesn't fit neat categories, you deserve support that honors the relationship you're actually building.
I work with couples who are consciously breaking generational patterns and rejecting relationship scripts that don't align with their values. If your relationship doesn't look traditional, that's not something to fix. It's something to understand and support.
Next Steps: Finding Your Couples Therapist in Los Angeles
If you've made it this far, you're serious about finding the right support for your relationship. That alone says something important about your commitment.
Looking for couples therapy in Los Angeles doesn't mean your relationship is failing. It means you care enough to get help building something that actually works for both of you.
Whether you're navigating the transition to parenthood, recovering from a betrayal, feeling disconnected, or trying to figure out if you can make this work, therapy can help you move forward with more clarity, more compassion, and more tools to work as the team you want to be.
Learn more about our services at Stanza Family Therapy, Inc.
About the Author
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples therapy in Los Angeles, with additional training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and expressive arts therapy. I work primarily with millennial and Gen Z couples navigating major life transitions (especially the transition to parenthood) and couples building non-traditional relationship structures.
My approach combines research-backed methods with creative, play-based interventions. I'm known for being laidback in my style. I’m friendly, direct, and authentically imperfect. Because I believe healing happens through genuine human connection, not polished performance.
Learn more about my work at Stanza Family Therapy, Inc.